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Umm, rest assured that the rest of the staff will do its best to prevent Moonblossom from expressing her feelings.

Wednesday, August 14th, 2002, by Troy

My Neighbors are Spies

Why do I say this? They don't speak English. What's up with that? They don't have day jobs. They constantly use their barbecue grill in an enclosed balcony. As far as I can tell, they NEVER have sex.

Wednesday, August 14th, 2002, by El Perezoso

Remember, kids, it's like Nietzsche said:

When you buy the Special Edition DVD of The Abyss,

The Abyss also buys the Special Edition DVD of you.

Wednesday, July 24th, 2002, by El Perezoso

A Comparison
	FASTEN YOUR SEATBELT
	TONY (FEATURELESS BAT)
	TEENY TRUSTABLE SOFA
	EARLOBE SAFETY STUNT

Wednesday, July 24th, 2002, by Captain Crotch

Joke Time!
starring:
Captain Crotch

(contributed by Bjorn the Mighty)

Once upon a time there was a bowl of cream. He was a happy bowl of cream, hangin' out with his dairy buddies, drinking at milk bars, all that fun stuff. But all that changed when he started dating an attractive carton of half-and-half. His buddies didn't see him for weeks, and when he finally showed up he was unrecognizable.

"Dude, what happened to you?" Said his best friend, a cup of yoplait vanilla yogurt. "Oh, y'know . . . my girlfriend said I'd look much sexier if I put on this metal can with the plastic tip . . . and then infused myself with carbon dioxide."

"Dude," the yogurt responded, disgusted, "You are *so* whipped."

Wednesday, July 24th, 2002, by Moonblossom

The View from Behind my Knappy-Ass Dreads

They say that found objects possess a beauty and purity that no other objects can have - that they offer an enigmatic yet powerful glimpse into the life of a stranger, and in doing so bring the human race closer together. Not this one, though. This one's just really weird and lame.

Wednesday, July 24th, 2002, by Troy

BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU

(But he's not touching himself, like he does when he watches your mom.)

Wednesday, July 24th, 2002, by El Perezoso

El Perezoso sez: It's like my grandpa used to say: "Anything that turns into a forum for some sort of bizarre Filipino frat/gang warfare is not long for this Earth." I can't say I'll miss it.

Wednesday, July 24th, 2002, by Captain Crotch

Joke Time!
starring:
Captain Crotch

Babelfish is the best thing ever:

• Come 2 oestereichische customs officers into a Buss of full black ones. Commentates the one: "burns well, hot's."
  
  
• A oestereichischer jumbo jet during the approach of an airport: Tower: "you give please your position." Pilot: "well, whole in front in the cockpit, where otherwise."
  
  
• Last week sank the entire oestereichische submarine fleet. It had the day of the open door.
  
  
• The new oestereichischen mountain rescue helicopters have only only one rotor blade, in order to be able to fly more near to the cliffs.
  
  
• What does one recognize whether a Oestereicher used a computer? At the Tippex on the screen.